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It's just one of those days. My fic is going poorly, I can't write porn even though I did the warm-up Arashi porn to get me back into the swing of writing it, and I have two deadlines looming while I suck hard at writing things.

Thankfully lazulisong has awesome Kamen Rider Kabuto in her journal otherwise you would all be getting a rant about how Jun wouldn't rape Nino, Nino wouldn't rape Ohno, and the fact that your fic sucks because it's nothing but angsty, melodramatic crap that stretches the fabric of space-time, to say nothing of credulity.

Sorry. I just. This is what I get from straying from Becky's recs and authors I know.

But I feel better for reading Meg's retarded Kabuto antics and I wrote part of the crack-y idea that got planted in my head from seeing a discussion about Sho/Jun (or Jun/Sho) fic. This isn't all of it--I just had to write something that made me happy instead of continuing to slam my head against my desk.

The way things are

Sho was not stupid enough to go to his idiot bandmates for help with anything having to do with love.

He was just desperate enough. "Guys," he said to Ohno, Nino, and Aiba. "Say there's this guy who has four really close friends…"

"Ahh," said Nino. "So you finally noticed our Junnosuke's crush on you."

"Shut up," Sho said reflexively. Then, "What?"

"It's okay, it's okay," Nino said, patting his shoulder. "Jun-kun isn't always so subtle when he's got a big, fat, stupid boy-crush on one of us."

"Huh?" said Sho, a little lost. Jun had a what on who?

Aiba nodded hard. "It's probably because you're special."

"No, no," Nino disagreed. "It's because Jun-kun is older now. His crush on me was in Juniors." His face went wistful. "I was too young to know what to do with it, at that time. Ahh," he sighed regretfully. "I really wasted the opportunity. I was so nice to him about it and told him that he'd get over it and it was just because we worked together all the time."

"You didn't have sex with him?" Aiba asked curiously. "Why not?"

Sho covered his face. "Guys," he said.

"And with Captain," Nino went on, perking up, "he was a total retard. It was really, really obvious."

Ohno looked at Nino. "Jun had a crush on me?"

Nino looked at Ohno affectionately. "A huge, moronic, boy-crush. He was like a girl. It was epic. Especially since you never noticed."

"Did I encourage him?" Ohno asked looking a little worried but mostly confused.

Sho looked at Aiba.

Aiba looked at Ohno proudly. "You were super sweet to him because he kept being a complete dork around you. It was really cute to watch because we all knew you didn't have a clue."

"Not as cute as his crush on you," Nino said to Aiba loyally. "He really didn't want to have a crush on you."

Aiba beamed. "Yeah, he really fought himself. But in the end, we had lots of sex anyhow."

Sho let out a strangled squeak which was, thankfully, covered by an embarrassed squawk from Jun, who had just walked into the room.

Jun turned and left without another word, face obviously flaming in embarrassment. "But you were really good, Jun-chan!" Aiba called, hurrying after him.

"You had sex with our Junnosuke?" Nino demanded, hot on Aiba's heels. "Jun-kun! You had sex with Aiba? With our own Ai-baka?"

Sho covered his face on Jun's behalf and then peeked out between his fingers as he felt a hand cover his knee. Ohno was looking at him, serious and sweet. "I won't tell them that you like Jun," he said kindly.

He leaned forward until his head bumped against Ohno's. "Thanks, Satoshi," he said, quietly grateful.

Eta: There's a Part two.