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Meg made it NINE MONTHS without smoking! True, true, it's getting closer to TEN MONTHS now, but I am slow and forgetful.

So, um, in acknowledgement of her achievement I made some PRE-Kingdom Hearts porn for her! Yay! Way to go, Meg!

Oh, god, I am so sorry. I swear, I'll get you something better soon. But this is what I've got so far and I really, really am proud of you for making it to nine months and I swear that your one year porn will be good! It's Loveless and I actually know that and I honestly swear I'll get you better porn soon. Post KH2, even, and I've got an idea and it will be nothing but good smut. Honest.

Growing Up

"Sora? I can't sleep over tonight."

Riku sounded sort of panicky so Sora clicked on his bedside lamp and looked down at him, sitting on his sleeping bag in the middle of the floor. "But it's after midnight," he said reasonably. "And we've already been asleep for most of an hour."

"So?" Riku asked, clutching his pillow to his lap. "I'm going home."

With a muffled groan Sora flopped out of his bed and on to the floor next to Riku. "Is this 'cause Kairi called? 'Cause she called to talk to both of us but you wouldn't take the phone."

Riku edged back. "She didn't know I was here. And anyway, I don't care if Kairi calls you a billion times a night. I just think we're too old for sleepovers."

"But…" Sora frowned heavily at him. "But we've been having sleepovers on Friday nights since we were five!"

"And now I'm fourteen," Riku said. "Too old."

"Well, I'm still thirteen and it's my house! So you have to stay because I'm not too old." Sora made a grab for his pillow, intent on smacking him over the head with it. Riku, however, held it in a death grip. Sora grinned and tugged at it.

"Hey!" Riku yanked it back, looking flustered.

Sora grinned again; he'd been working on a move, a sort of forward roll thing. Riku hadn't seen it yet and if he could get a good grip on the pillow and an element of surprise then he'd finally be able to beat Riku in a pillow fight. He got his knees under him and lunged, sliding his hands around the pillow rather than trying to catch the edges. He startled when he encountered something other than pillow, something unexpectedly hot and hard like bone. He forgot the roll and ended up merely pushing Riku onto his back and landing on top of him, his hands still under the pillow and against the unexpected thing in Riku's lap. "Riku?"

"Sora!" Riku yelped and scrambled out from under him, scuttling backward until he hit the wall under the window.

Holding the pillow stupidly, Sora stared at Riku's crotch. "Should I go get my mom?"

"No!" Riku jerked his legs closed and his knees up to his chin.

"But she's a nurse…"

"I don't need a nurse!" Riku glared at him. "I'm fine."


"It's perfectly normal," Riku hissed.

"No way!" Sora pointed in the direction of Riku's groin, his voice rising. "It's all swollen up and stuff! That's not normal! There's no way that's normal!"

Riku pounced on him, shoving the pillow over his face. "Shut up! If your mom comes in here I swear to god I'll smother you." Sora froze and listened for his mother, fairly well certain that Riku really would smother him if he'd woken his parents. They both lay still, listening intently, and Sora couldn't help but notice that Riku's lower body was kept carefully away from him, instead of the full-body tackle that he usually used. That he hadn't, Sora realized, used in quite a while. After a moment, Riku sat back, taking the pillow with him and jamming it firmly back in place over his lap. "I told you that you should play blitzball," he muttered reproachfully.

Sora gaped at him. "Not if that's what it does to you!"

"Idiot," Riku rolled his eyes. "It's not from blitzball. But if you played, you'd be in the locker rooms and you could listen to Wakka and Tidus talk."

"And…they say it's normal?" Sora looked at his own crotch thoughtfully. "'Cause mine has never done that."

Riku gave him a patronizing look. "That's because you're still a kid."

"I am not a kid!" Sora protested.

"You are if you've never had a boner," said Riku, folding his arms and looking lofty.

"A boner?"

Riku nodded. "That's what Wakka called it. Tidus called it a hard-on."

Sora nodded too. "Hard-on."

"Cid called it a 'goddamned frigging erection jesus holy christ'. And then he told them to shut up because there were kids in the room."

"He meant you!" Sora crowed. "You're not so grown up if Cid made them shut up because you were there!"

Riku hit him with the pillow. "Shut up! If your mom or dad comes in here and finds us like this they're gonna call off the sleepovers."

"Why? Because you have a boner and I don't?"

"Something like that," Riku muttered, throwing the pillow at him.

Fluffing the pillow, Sora threw himself back on the sleeping bag, staring at his ceiling. "Okay, so how do I get one?"

"…?" said Riku from the corner under the window and Sora scuffed himself around to face him.

"How do I get one?" he repeated. "Because if we're both grownups then it won't matter what my parents say about you sleeping over here or me sleeping over at your house."

Riku coughed politely. "Um…"

"You still want to sleep over and stuff, right?" Sora asked, sitting up and staring at him. He'd sort of assumed that Riku's problem with sleeping over had to do with his new 'grown up' status and not…"'Right?"

"Sure," Riku agreed after a moment.

Sora punched a fist into the air. "All right! Now," he propped his chin on Riku's knees, "how do I get a hard-on?"

"You grow up."


"I'm serious," Riku said, pushing him backward. "They just start happening one day. All the time and it's embarrassing because you can't tell when they're gonna happen or when they're gonna go away."

Sora shoved at Riku's legs. "You mean it doesn't stay like that?"

Riku thumped his head back into the wall. "You are so signing up for blitzball next term. No, it doesn't stay like this. It goes away."

"How long does it take?" Sora finally managed to shove Riku's knees apart. "'Cause yours is still like that."

Sora studied Riku's crotch thoughtfully, nodding in scientific curiosity when Riku reached down and poked moodily at the bulge in his pajamas. "Dunno," Riku said looking up and shrugging. "They just go away on their own. Kinda fast if I'm embarrassed and sometimes it feels like it takes forever. And sometimes," Riku said, leaning forward like he was confiding something super-secret, "Tidus said sometimes that they only go away if you 'come'."

"Come where?" Sora blinked in confusion. "Where are you supposed to go? And can you get one there, or just lose one?"

Riku shrugged again. "Dunno. Your bed, I think. Or the bathroom, maybe; Wakka said it's stupid to come in bed because it makes a wet spot on the sheets."

"A wet…it makes you pee the bed?" Sora stared at him. "Never mind, I don't want one. I don't wanna be a grown up that bad."

Riku slapped a hand over his face and sighed and then lowered it. "It doesn't make you wet the bed. You can't pee when it's like this, not even if you really have to go. So it does something else, I think. But I'm not sure because Cid came in and told them to shut up and then you came in to find out if we were done with practice."

Sora mentally connected the dots. "Hey, can I see it?" he asked eagerly.

"No!" Riku tried to snap his legs shut but Sora had prudently placed himself between Riku's knees earlier.

"Come on! Cid and Wakka and Tidus saw it! And I'm your best friend. I've seen it loads of times before. I'd show you mine."

"If you laugh," said Riku warningly, hands hovering over his crotch.

"I won't!" Sora shook his head frantically. For some unknown reason this felt like something not to be missed. "I swear!"

"Okay," Riku muttered, hooking his fingers in the waistband of his pajamas and tugging down. "You promised," he reminded "no laughing."

Even if he'd wanted to laugh he couldn't have, Sora thought. Laughing took air, something he didn't seem to have much of. "Wow." Riku's erection was flushed deeply red and the whole length of him was swollen, the skin stretched taut. It looked painful and Sora remembered the fevered heat that had startled him earlier. He reached out a tentative hand. "Does it hurt?" he asked in a hushed voice The tips of his fingers lightly grazed the crown and he had the fleeting impression of soft before Riku's pained sounding gasp had him snatching his hand away. "I'm sorry!"

Riku's eyes were half-closed. "Doesn't hurt," he said in an oddly husky voice.

"You can't lie about stuff like this, Riku," Sora responded instantly. "It's like that time that fish bit you and you looked like you were gonna cry and you said it didn't hurt but it was poisonous and you blew up like a balloon and you had to go to the doctor and get shots for a week." And he hadn't cried at all, just gone around with a squint-eyed look on his face. "I'm gonna go get my mom," Sora decided.

"No way!" Riku caught him before he could move, jerking him off balance. "It's fine, Sora."

Sora shook his head blindly, leaning heavily against Riku. "It hurt when I touched it."

Riku's face erupted in a wave of crimson. "Don't be stupid," he muttered. "It feels good to touch it when it's like this." His eyes were heavy-lidded when they met Sora's own and there was something in there that looked almost sleepy, without looking sleepy at all. "It didn't hurt when you touched it."

He could feel a blush of his own sweeping into his cheeks. "But…"

"It's like…" Riku sighed, his fingers twisting idly with Sora's own, "it's like the first bite of ice cream when you've been wanting ice cream all day long. And you let it sit in your mouth and melt even though it's so cold it's almost giving you an ice cream headache because it's that good."

"It's cold?" Sora jerked his eyes back down to Riku's lap. The part of Riku in question, aside from the lack of lobster-red color, reminded him of a bad sunburn. He raised a dubious eyebrow looking at it. "It doesn't look cold."

Riku let go of his hand and stifled a laugh. "Sora, you dummy," he said from behind his fingers.

"You were the one who said…" he trailed off petulantly. He tilted his head to rest companionably against Riku's knee and wriggled his fingers against Riku's abdomen before slipping them sideways to curve over Riku's erection.

His reaction was immediate. Riku's whole body jolted as though Sora had struck a nerve, or laid live wires on him rather than his hand. His breath was suddenly warm against Sora's ear as he made a sound between a gasp and a cry. It was exactly the sort of sound he made when he got his fingers slammed in a door and Sora opened his mouth to ask if it hurt when Riku let out a sudden, shuddery breath. "Sora," he said, in a careful voice.

"Okay?" Sora asked in a very careful voice of his own. "It doesn't hurt?"

"No," Riku's voice made something shiver at the back of Sora's neck. "It feels good," the words were whispered directly against his ear, lips brushing the lobe and Sora shivered for real, his fingers tightening spasmodically around the flesh in his hand.

The whimper that Riku made low in his throat triggered another shiver in Sora, one that tickled down his spine made him shift his hips awkwardly. Riku's hips moved, too, pushing forward against Sora's hand and Sora was irresistibly reminded of the dog next door that rolled around shamelessly the minute you rubbed his belly. It made him grin. "Hey, Riku, you…" Sora stopped suddenly as he realized that if he told Riku what he'd just thought, Riku would probably pummel him right through the floor and into the ground. And even though the questioning sound that Riku made was hazy, his eyes were hot and sharp. "You…uh, like this?" Sora asked, scrubbing his hand over the top of Riku's erection.

He had to shift again. In part because of the way that Riku's back bowed and his hips pressed forward and they way he grabbed on hard to his shoulders, but mostly because of the way Riku's hissed 'yes' made his whole body feel like it was trying to turn itself inside out. Grabbing the windowsill to keep from falling totally onto Riku, Sora gasped for breath. That slight shift forward set off another burst of inside-out fireworks and Sora bit his lip and let go of Riku. His shorts felt tight and twisted and he couldn't stand it.

"Sorry," he mumbled when Riku made a small, questioning sound. He reached for the ties on his shorts "I've got—" he broke off, startled. "I've got one! A hard-on!" He peeked down the top of his pajamas and nodded. It was the same color and had the same tight-swollen look as Riku's. "Heeeeyyy," he said, looking from Riku's crotch to his own. "Do you think they're contagious? Like chicken pox? Remember, I had chicken pox and then you came over and then you got chicken pox?"

Riku gave him a look. "Maybe you get 'em from people you like, but I don't think it's because they're contagious, Sora."

"From people you like, huh?" Sora poked one finger tentatively under his waistband. "You mean like you and Kairi?" The thought of having a hard-on in front of Kairi—who wouldn't be able to get one of her own—made him blush with embarrassment. The thought of Riku getting one because of Kairi made it worse.

Something flickered in Riku's eyes, shuttering them for a moment. Then he asked, "So, since I gave you that boner, I get to see it, right?"

His first impulse was to say 'no' and he clutched the thin cotton of his shorts tightly without even thinking about it. He'd said he would…but this felt….it felt… "We shouldn't be doing this, should we?" he asked quietly. His parents always said that if your instinct was that something was wrong, then it probably was. And Riku had said 'no' at first, too. No way.

Riku's eyes flickered again. He let go of one of Sora's shoulders to scrub a hand over the spikes of his hair, messing it up the way he liked to do because he could mess with Sora's hair but Sora was too short to mess with his. "Probably not," he said easily.

He started to straighten out of his lazy slouch against the wall and Sora shoved his shorts down without thinking. "I told you I would," he said, when Riku's eyes opened wide. Riku's eyes drifted down and Sora wondered if his chest had always been so small, if his heart had always slammed against his front and his back with each thump the way it was doing. If the beat had always been so heavy. "You can touch it, if you want," he offered breathlessly. "Since I touched yours."

Was still touching it, actually. He squeezed lightly, until his thumb touched the tips of his fingers and his knuckles brushed the warm cotton of Riku's bunched up pajama shorts. Riku looked back up at him with glassy-hot eyes and Sora pressed his tongue against the roof of his mouth, thinking about ice cream.

Riku's first touch mirrored his own, just a glide of fingertips. Even though he'd been expecting it, Sora still felt his whole body quake and he had to bite his lips against the noise building in his chest, trying to get out. "Does it hurt, Sora?" Riku smiled at him and Sora felt it crackle under his skin. "Should I go get your mom?"

He let go of the window to grab Riku's shoulder, shoving it into the wall, "Shut up." He moaned as Riku's fingers returned, pressing harder, "I didn't know."

"You can't lie about this sort of thing, Sora," Riku continued on, his voice humming with amusement. "I'm gonna—oh!"

Sora grinned and rubbed his thumb over the tip of Riku's erection again. "If you bring up my mom again, I'm going to pound you through the beach right out to the other side of the planet," he threatened happily. "I—ah! Riku!"

"Quiet!" Riku grabbed the back of his neck and pulled and Sora went with it until he had his face buried against Riku's neck, wispy-fine tendrils of Riku's hair drifting against his face. "We've got to be quiet otherwise your parents are gonna catch us with our cocks out and in each other's hands."

"Cocks?" Sora tilted his gaze down at his hand and Riku's. Riku's fingers fluttered over his skin and he tightened his hold on Riku's other shoulder. "Blitzball, right," he sucked on his lower lip. He watched his hand stroke slowly down the length of Riku's cock until it bumped up against his belly, then he stroked back up until he could close his hand around the head. "D'you think they're gonna have summer league this year?"

Riku shifted, his hips rocking slightly so that the head of his cock nudged insistently against the palm of Sora's closed hand. "Maybe. Want me to sign you up?"

"Yes," Sora nuzzled his cheek against Riku's. "Please," he added as he swallowed back a sigh. Riku's fingers flicked at the underside of his shaft again and Sora stifled himself by pressing his lips to the soft place just behind Riku's ear.

"Sora," Riku's murmured, turning his head. His cheek slid damply against Sora's own and Sora realized, dimly, that he and Riku were both sweating. The heat burning into the palm of his hand was making him hot everywhere. "Sora…" his name gusted warmly over the corner of his mouth and Sora jerked his head away, looking down.

Boys didn't kiss. He knew for a fact that boys shouldn't kiss because his mom and dad had told him so after his ninth birthday party. Kairi had kissed him on the cheek before she left and when it had been time for Riku to go home, Sora had kissed him on the cheek the same way. After, his parents sat him down and told him that boys didn't kiss other boys.

Even if they wanted to, Sora figured, making a fist in Riku's shirt in frustration. Not even if their whole mouth tingled with wanting to. "Riku," he complained, turning his head away as Riku's mouth moved over his cheek again. He pressed his lips together hard, hoping to ease the strange, full feeling in them. "Tighter," he whispered against Riku's jaw. "It feels good when your hand is tight."

"Like this?" Riku asked. When Sora nodded, he nipped him on the ear. "You too," he said. "Tight like this."

Sora obediently squeezed his fist tighter. His wrist was starting to cramp from the odd angle of holding Riku's cock, but he didn't want to let go. He flicked his wrist, trying to work the cramp out. To his surprise, Riku nearly came up off the floor, a keening wail escaping before he managed to muffle it in Sora's shoulder. "Riku?" he asked uncertainly.

Riku looked at him, his eyes mostly unfocused. "What was that?" he asked, panting slightly. "What'd you do?"

"I…" Sora pushed himself blindly against Riku, feeling something sort of desperate coiling inside of himself. "My wrist was cramping so I tried to shake it out." Riku's hand moved and Sora felt his brain go cross-eyed. "Riku!" he turned his head, biting into his own arm so that he wouldn't just press his mouth to Riku's and kiss him to shut himself up.

"Yeah," Riku groaned softly in his ear. "Do it again," he said, doing it again.

"Don't…" Sora tried to breathe around the huge feeling twisting inside of him. "Don't forget…" he'd finally found something—a really, really great something—before Riku had. He'd finally beat Riku at something. "Don’t—"

"Who's going to forget?" Riku asked, his hand moved faster and his voice was blurry, indistinct.

"Riku!" Sora couldn't remember what they were talking about. He forgot everything as everything in his head dissolved and his body finally, finally managed to turn itself inside out. "Riku?" he asked when the world started to make itself remembered again. Riku's head was heavy on his shoulder and he'd more or less collapsed against Riku and they were slowly sliding down to the floor.

"Hm?" Riku lifted his head slightly. "Sora?"

Sora pressed his cheek against Riku's again for a moment, feeling cozy and tired. "M' hand is sticky. And my knees hurt."

Riku snorted into his shoulder but pushed him away a moment later so that he toppled to sit on his butt instead kneeling. Riku himself stretched out on the floor. "My hand is sticky too," he said, lifting it up for Sora to see.

It was coated with a milky-clear fluid. "Ew," Sora said lifting his own hand next to Riku's to compare. They were the same. "Gross," he grinned.

"Yuck," Riku said agreeably, making a fist with a wet, squelching noise. He spread his fingers with a squishing sound. "Guess we figured out what makes a wet spot on the sheets," he said. "And where you 'come'."

Sora nodded. "I wanna wash my hands, but I don't think I can get up."

"Me neither."

After a moment of scouting around, Sora grabbed the only thing in reaching distance. "This stuff smells kinda funny," he said, wiping his fingers on fleecy inside of the sleeping bag.

Riku sniffed the back of his hand and then touched his tongue to it. "It tastes funny, too," he said, collecting a handful of his sleeping bag and scrubbing. Then he stopped. "Shit," he swore. "Where am I gonna sleep now?"

Sora shoved the sleeping bag in the corner and pushed himself unsteadily to his feet. "In the bed," he said, offering his hand to Riku. A funny sort of tingle shot through him when Riku grabbed his hand, pulling himself up. "It's where you used to sleep until our moms got us sleeping bags." He flopped in to bed and rolled over. "Remember?"

"Yeah, I remember." Riku crawled in beside him.

It was a tight fit, tighter than Sora remembered it. The only good way to sleep was tangled up together, with his arms around Riku's waist and Riku's arm pillowing his head. It was an uncomfortable mix of knees and elbows and one of his arms was going numb because Riku was crushing it.

All in all, Sora figured, being a grown up was a pretty good shake.


Bonus shame that is not quite a part of the story!

It was a pretty good shake, except for in the morning when his mom found them sleeping in the same bed and went o.O at them. And when Sora said 'the sleeping bag was all wet!' she went -_- and took it down to get washed. Riku, who was unable to think without having shoved at least two pancakes inside of his head, thought this was a bad idea but he didn't know why.

After breakfast, Riku got to go home and Sora got to go do errands with his father. At lunch his father sat him down and said 'Son, you're getting to be a man now' and Sora went O_O at him. And when his dad got to the 'and nobody but you should touch you there' Sora went >.> and then <.< and then >.> again and by the time his dad stopped talking and took him home he was very @_@;

And when next Friday rolled around he couldn't go to Riku's house because his mom had invited Kairi's family over for dinner. And the Friday after that, he had to go to Kairi's for dinner.

Eventually Sora quit asking if he could have Riku sleep over and Riku never asked at all, not even when Sora brought him back his sleeping bag.

That summer, they started work on the Highwind.


( 3 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 13th, 2009 07:13 pm (UTC)
You always write the best smut. ♥
Apr. 20th, 2009 03:07 pm (UTC)
So hot <3 Parents reaction ^^'
Aug. 5th, 2012 06:40 am (UTC)
dunno what 2 put here
hmp....,. kinda cool
( 3 comments — Leave a comment )